Questions from the Fridge

Call me churlish, but I can't help but raise a sceptical eyebrow when I read a phrase like "Selected Cuts" on a cat food packet. Are you telling me that an epicure is engaged to stand on the line at the abattoir and distinguish those morsels tasty enough for kitty's delicate palate from those less delectable? Or perhaps, just perhaps, this "selection" occurs when someone says, "See all that crap on the floor? Scrape it up and shove it in the pet food bucket, will ya?"

Before we close the refrigerator, there's a jam I buy regularly which helpfully informs us on the label that this product is "High Content Fruit Spread." Huh?! This jam contains a high level of contents? What's the remainder made up of - Essence of Void?

They’ll all be put up against the wall when I become Queen.