27 February 2005
If It's Tuesday This Must Be Vancouver.
Canada Tuesday. Sometimes I stop and wondering if I'm actually doing all this or if it's really just a psychotic episode. Maybe it's a result of talking about it for so long.
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6 comments:
Woo-hoo! How long are you in Vancouver before you hit our lovely chunk of eden?
I guess in fairness to your pending arrival, you should know a few things:
* March is "Praise The Great Leader" month in Vancouver, and there are daily parades down Granville Street in honour of Vancouver's charismatic Chairman Larry. Visitors are advised to avoid openly discussing the desirability of rapid transit from the airport to the city centre.
* Remember that Canadians are a shy and reserved people, and making eye contact is generally interpreted as an invitation to oral sex.
* Also remember that it is considered impolite not to apologize to doors, chairs, tables and other furniture when you bump or jostle them. A simple "excuse me" will usually suffice.
* Visitors arriving from the United States will notice a considerable reduction in fear and paranoia expressed by the locals. Those who find this absence of internalized terror difficult to endure are advised to check into a hotel that carries the Fox News Network.
Cheryl: Thursday I descend upon Victoria. Speak to Mr Timothy for details.
Tim: Have you been drinking again? ;)
First point: So, are you trying to tell me it'll take 3 hours and two camel rides to get from the airport? :/
Second point: So I should bin the sunglasses at Heathrow then?
Third point: Looks like I'll almost Canadian already.
Fourth point: n/a
Camels freeze in this climate. We use polar bears. However, the ride takes you past the beautiful Ice Cliffs of Marpole, and slowly, slowly ascending the Plains of Granville you will eventually see the beautiful Burrard Fjords, and the wondrous shining towers of Vancouver perched high above, penguins and puffins dancing and skittering about playfully amongst the homeless.
Oh well, that'll be a hoot, given that I'm arriving at 11pm. Shall I cheer now, or save it until I arrive?
Honestly, Tim. You forgot the magestic flocks of Canadian Geese flying overhead and the Giant Beaver Dams built entirely from old-growth trees (deemed too small to ship to Japan) which span the Fjords.
Also, Praise the Great Leader month festivities may be delayed as Chairman Larry is currently recovering in hospital.
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