Every Barbie has her Ken

Indulge me, if you’d be so kind, in a few minutes on my soapbox, for something has raised my ire. This particular irritant is an old one, and like woollens at the beginning of winter, is long due a good airing.

Sexism.

Now those few of you who are still with me at this point… rela-a-a-ax! I’m not bearing witness to the hideous gynaecidal atrocities of the phallocentric overlords today. Quite the opposite.

Several years ago now, I pulled up a female friend who had spewed out some repellent stereotyping of the chaps. Once I had pointed out to her that what she had said was, in fact, completely idiotic and shameful, she took it in good humour. Ha, she said, thoughtfully. I suppose that’s like reverse sexism, isn’t it? Umm…well no, actually…

Sexism: discrimination against, stereotyping of, patronising or otherwise offensive behaviour on the grounds of sex. (NB: This definition doesn’t say on the grounds of being female, it says sex - of which we’ll say there are two, for the sake of this argument.)

Huh, another friend says, hands on hips and eyes rolling, if you want a job done properly give it to a woman. (Oh, fuck off! …but would you be so kind as to pass the bucket before you do?) I hear this brand of absurd, indolent dribble vomited up more often than I care to tell you. Perhaps this is a consequence of keeping the company of women who cut their chops in the bra-burning Seventies: lovely, intelligent women, fine company and generally quite socially astute, but for this one aberration. These are women who care passionately about equality yet don’t seem to have given a moment’s decent brain time to what that term might actually mean. Women who stamp their feet and demand to be treated with respect, rail with clenched fists against being judged on their looks, their clothes, their gender alone. Women who can say Typical male. Goes to pieces under the slightest pressure. They’re babies, aren’t they? and keep a straight face. Women who would have the castrating knife out and flashing in an instant should such a sentiment be uttered by a man about a woman. It’s lazy, ignorant and insulting; even more galling when sprayed about within earshot of their husbands or partners and, more particularly, their sons.

Feminism: advocacy of equal rights and opportunities for women, esp. the extension of their activities in social and political life.

Misandry: hatred of men.

For every perky-breasted, slim-waisted, long-legged, passive, self-sacrificing angel we see in the media there is a tall, confident, broad-chested, athletic he-man aggressively clawing his way up his career ladder. Ideal Man has a flashy car, money to spare and is a hit with the ladies – needless to say, he’s a cracker in the sack, knows what a woman wants better than she knows herself and never fails maintain a thundering erection all night. He’s tough, yet sensitive. He can hold his own in a dust-up, is both king of the kitchen and potentate of the power tools. Quite a tall order, wouldn’t you say? Every bit as anxiety-inducing as Ideal Woman, perhaps?

Women are still way behind in the race for equality of pay and status, are still sexualised, and a plethora of other injustices besides. But the cement shoes of stereotyping that hold us down come in men’s fittings, too.

*Ahem*…thanks for listening.