Have you ever grown tomatoes? If you have you may know the phenomenon where a plant suddenly gets a whole lot more water than it’s used to, and so the fruit swells so much that it splits: that’s how I feel right now. When it’s quiet you can hear my seams creaking. Seriously, if I stand still long enough and watch my belly I swear I can see it growing. Lofty is adamant that on awaking each morning he notices a difference. And I’m not even half way there yet! Surely something has to give soon. How embarrassing to be in a meeting or on the bus when—rip!—and my innards cascade out onto the floor like a dropped bucket of wet snags.
What’s the etiquette in that situation?
2 comments:
Miss Manners says, "One should simply scoop up ones innards in one's skirt and shuffle toward the nearest exit. If anyone seems to be affronted, a simple 'Pardon Me' should be sufficient to smooth the situation."
And don't worry, it'll feel much worse in a couple of months. ;)
Just think of yourself as some sort of baloon or gummy snake that can stretch and stretch and stretch.... I'm sure that will help
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